Listening to RAIN Dragon 1983
Aaaah sadly topical for this blog...well there aren't any Covid songs yet?
Best Ozzie single for 1983.
...maybe front runner for a Victorian state anthem?
About Motel beds...
I'm in Bordertown in an old Motel straight out of the '60s. It's a curious time warp of
woodgrain and cream brick hell with a woodgrain push button console thingo next to the bed that operates the heater and the non existent radio. Hmm. I have visions of walking out tomorrow morning to drop the keys off to Norman Bates and seeing a carpark full of EH Holdens and AP5 Valiants. I slide in under the pale green quilt and massed blankets, double up the pillows and smash Q&A on the tiny flat screen telly. Aaah luxury at last...or not. I'm thumbing the volume up as semis on the highway outside, bolt for the Vic border to beat shut down rattling the windows and drowning out this week's ABC minority shootout. The ancient aircon above the door emits a strange cyclic boom with
an out of sync rattle but no discernable heat of any kind. Aaargh, it's freezing in this bed. I give up on this week's blame fest, snap off the telly and settle in for a snooze. The pillows pong of smoke and the quilt possibly something I don't want to think about. Tossing and turning is hard work with this many blankets which seem to be exchanging my pathetic body heat for the whiff of a thousand former occupants. Yech. Aaar f@#k it, I fumble for the side lamp, leap out and peruse the dusty spare pillows and threadbare blankets. I select a well used green checked blanket and sling it on top of the bed and slide back in. Ten shivering minutes later I leap back out, f#$%k this, I grab the ancient green artifact, stuff it inside the bed, wriggle in and turn it into an itchy green woollen cocoon.
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| $95 to sleep in a museum...sweet! |
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| Which one fires the rocket? |
Ooooh yes at last, finally insulated from the heat sucking DNA collection site I put exhaustion to use and end a big big day two! Tomorrow...sigh...back home to regroup!
Read on, it's a big read and a crazy tale!
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| Here it is, the starter odo reading. Next one at the end of trip...or end of bike... |
It's 7.45am, I'm at the top of my driveway and I've got to go, ready or not. Marianne snaps a last pic, I thumb the starter...well this is it... and I swing into peak hour traffic. The traffic is crazy and I take almost an hour to get get out of town. Finally...finally I slot top gear and head down the freeway towards the Coorong to put some kilometres behind me. I'm hoping to get over the Victorian border today and hopefully to the lowest point in Australia the day after, shouldn't be too hard huh. I assess the DR as I go because, except for a trip to the bank yesterday, after all the work I've done, I haven't ridden it in months. Frankly it rides like crap. It's comfy enough but it vibrates badly in fifth, rattles like a bastard and after the Honda ...well, anyway it runs, we're heading out of town, I'm good with mechanical stuff ,
what could go wrong?
The wind and rain beat me to a pulp all the way to Millicent but I expected crap weather so
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| Food pic in Millicent...left it a bit late sorry. Yes yes I know it looks sunny ...trick photography! |
I suck it up and zoom across the border towards the Great Ocean Road. It gets dark sooner than I expect so when the rain falls again I hang a righty into Port Fairy and go on the hunt for a room. No camping in this crap weather. Australia is expensive...$120, nah keep looking, $150...nono just one person, oh shit, OK keep looking. The rain keeps falling and I finally find a tiny cabin for $100 bucks at the Big 4. As I unpack the heavens really open, I mean really open, and for the next twelve hours the little cabin feels like it's gonna blow across Bass Straight and I'll have to catch the ferry back from Tasmania. Fortunately the heater's a gem and I'm safe and warm in my tiny house.
Covid Calling
The next morning it's a wet cold dismal scene in the caravan park. Despite that there's a
flurry of caravaners urgently hooking up and heading out. Old dudes in socks and sandals rushing about banging the Island Stars and Viscounts onto the Cruiser and turning west.
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| Gooooood morning Port Fairy...drip drip |
Oh Shit!
As the rain pelts down on me the government announces a complete state lockdown from
midnight for at least a week...or longer if they don't get on top of it. So from midnight, stay where you are indefinitely till the outbreak is sorted. Hmm. Marianne phones to tell me my cousin Jen and her husband Norm, who live in Melbourne, have contacted her to tell me I can stay with them if I get stuck. My head spins. What to do. I think South Australia has shut its border so I might have to quarantine if I go back. Hmm. I decide to head to Port Campbell, find a cafe, get on the web and get some facts together. I get to Port Campbell just as another storm hits and phone Norm for some inside info on the Victorian situation. It's not good...I won't be going around the bottom of Oz anytime soon. Norm suggests maybe head upwards towards New South Wales and cross the border there, maybe five hours away.
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| Hello this is Victoria calling, we're about to crap on you even more! |
Great idea let's go!
I bolt back to the bike, smash the little town of Moama NSW into the GPS and head north. The
ranges behind the coast are beautiful but the weather smashes me even harder. I'm lashed with rain and visibility is so bad I often have to slow down to fifty or sixty k's just when I need to get going. I'm pushing on upwards through Camperdown and Lismore when Marianne rings to tell me to stay away from Bendigo as it's a hotspot and I won't be allowed over the border if I go near there. OK, aaarm I change my route again and keep going till Norm rings again and tells me NSW is closing the border at 4pm.
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| Port Campbell decision centre...so go back outside and ride in a big circle all day...erm OK |
Aaaaaaargh!
For some reason I miscalculate and think I can still get to the NSW border before four and so keep going north. When I get to the little hamlet of Skipton I figure I won't get to NSW and for the moment I'm trapped. I grab a coffee from the servo, sit my cold wet self down and review my options. I can't stay here, I could go to Jen and Norm's for the duration, I can't get into NSW now, and the SA border is a long way the wrong way and I might have to go into quarantine. Hmm. I give no.1 son Sean a ring in Adelaide and ask him to have a look at the SA gov website to review my options. Together we figure if I'm quick I might get back into SA and I might not have to quarantine.
Oh oh...here we go again!
Another three fifty K, and it's already mid afternoon. Crap. It's gonna be dark before I get there and I've only a dark visor(another story). I turn the DR west and unmercifully flog it towards the border. I'm following cars, buses, caravans and trucks all hightailing it out of the state and all throwing crap over me off the wet roads. As the sun sets the rain relents but the cold sets in. The DR doesn't make enough voltage at low revs to run the phone charger heated grips and GPS and I have to turn things off going through towns or it dies. Aaaaargh. I slot in behind trucks and follow their tail lights kilometre after kilometre eyes locked in like playing a giant computer game. The Grampians and Little Desert areas slide by in the moonlight and I finally hit the open plains before the border. The border seems to take forever, where is it where is it cmon cmon...finally the brakelights flash on the truck I'm following and I pull into a long line of cars and vans. Hmm well I'm here...now what?
OK...the phone gets me out of the shit!
I'm approached by a police officer and he asks if I've filled out the phone application for border crossing. I tell him I haven't and ask for a form or something as I don't normally use phones.
He looks at me quizzically, sees I'm serious, and tells me there aren't any forms and if you don't have a phone you ain't going anywhere.
Erm ok. I thank him and wish him a good night and he laughs and tells me he'll probably be
going home before I am! Hmm, remembering Sean had mentioned something about a form to fill out I whip the phone out and find he's emailed it to me, woohoo! OK, cos the DR charging is crap the phone's only showing about 40% charge...better learn the wee keyboard fast! As this is going on the line I'm in keeps moving and I"ve got to keep moving forward using the clutch and throttle while filling in the @##$ form on the phone. I constantly stall the bike and even drop the phone once. My muddled predicament, arm waving and swearing, become the entertainment for my fellow border jumpers. I thumb submit, wait...and the form disappears. Did it send it or didn't it? I sit staring at the phone and don't realise the line's moved on and a policeman is waiting for me. I stall the bike again much to the mirth of people around me and the cop laughs, gives up waiting, and walks down to me. Yer got an email mate? Er sorry not good with phones. Show us ya phone then I'll have a look...yer need two confirmation emails...yeh there they are, yer good to go. I stare at him, huh, how did that happen? I dunno mate just take the right lane and off you go...next.
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| !@#$ Yeh let's go! |
going home before I am! Hmm, remembering Sean had mentioned something about a form to fill out I whip the phone out and find he's emailed it to me, woohoo! OK, cos the DR charging is crap the phone's only showing about 40% charge...better learn the wee keyboard fast! As this is going on the line I'm in keeps moving and I"ve got to keep moving forward using the clutch and throttle while filling in the @##$ form on the phone. I constantly stall the bike and even drop the phone once. My muddled predicament, arm waving and swearing, become the entertainment for my fellow border jumpers. I thumb submit, wait...and the form disappears. Did it send it or didn't it? I sit staring at the phone and don't realise the line's moved on and a policeman is waiting for me. I stall the bike again much to the mirth of people around me and the cop laughs, gives up waiting, and walks down to me. Yer got an email mate? Er sorry not good with phones. Show us ya phone then I'll have a look...yer need two confirmation emails...yeh there they are, yer good to go. I stare at him, huh, how did that happen? I dunno mate just take the right lane and off you go...next.
No woohoos this time...
F!@#k Yeh!
I thumb the starter, don't stall it this time, and head off for my date with the Bates Motel in Bordertown before someone changes their mind!
Listening to I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE Geoff Mack
Recorded by Lucky Star and a godzillion others all over the world.
Ok, just to be a weirdly annoying smartarse, learn the four verses
and eighty Aussie towns for your next Karaoke night,
although...if you attend Karaoke nights you are
probably weirdly annoying already!
Reality Check
Ok first up a big thanks to Marianne (and her boss), Norm and Jen, and Sean for helping me with their info and advice. Next how weird is this...the only time I really needed a phone, I had one...with 40% charge and ready to go! Thanks Marianne.
Right, I'm back home. After landing in Bordertown I hit Google maps looking for an easy way into NSW, maybe sneak in near Mildura somewhere. Nah not happening. The next crossing looked to be through Broken Hill. I plotted all sorts of routes and short cuts but the best involved heading back towards home before turning back up north. OK Deano, time to get smart. As much as it hurts your pride, go home, tweak the DR some more, get some sleep, and turn north...or...I could turn west and go round clockwise instead...hmm.
NEXT BLOG
NORTH OR WEST? I STRADDLE MY
HEAP AND HEAD OFF AGAIN.
SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS STRESSFULL,
THAT'D BE NICE!
Thanks heaps for your comments,
Don't be shy and keep em coming
Cheers Dean
LAP UNDER THE SUN
